Dear Future Self

Today I found this letter I wrote to myself on my iPad.  It is very syncronistic.  I don’t even know what I was writing and I have recently been doing the exact things I wrote about.  What do you think?

 

11 September 2021

Dear future self,

Today you decided to stop fighting and to be quiet

I am so glad that you stuck with this

For years you had been fighting with the voices and the impressions in your head and you had wanted to stop but couldn’t

You couldn’t stop until you asked for and accepted help

I am so glad that you reached a point where you decided to pray

That video you made yesterday was eye opening for me

l could see clearly the anger, the confusion, the fear

I credit you reading more and talking less

Truly, doing the inner work and not just talking about it has made a world of difference

Thank you for not giving up

Thank you for applying your signature firm resolve and will power to helping yourself.

I know it isn’t easy to do when you feel so fundamentally worthless

This is where your faith in prayer has helped you

I’m sorry you have felt stuck for so long and you suffered so much.

It really was quite a confusing combination of circumstances you chose.

To feel worthless and unwanted and to be scapegoated so early on.

What a confusing mess

Please forgive me for agreeing with those who created that circumstance for so long

Forgive me for not being able to let it go for so long

I love you

I love you for not giving up and for keeping alive

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