Your addictions aren’t helping you. I know you probably don’t want to hear this. I’m saying it because I care about you and I’ve been there. I care about you and it’s painful for me to see you suffering. I know suffering and I see you suffering when you don’t have to. You don’t know how much you are causing your own suffering. I feel your suffering within myself, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t stop you. I can only reflect to you that I see you and hope that you will take responsibility for yourself and love yourself as much as I love you. Yes, you have trauma. Yes, life has been hard for you. It can get better if you start loving yourself.
Ok, I’ll get to the point. Smoking cannabis isn’t helping you reach your deepest feelings and emotions. Drinking prevents you from feeling the feelings you need to feel in order to change the experiences that come to you. Eating sugar and junk food is not helping you to go within to find meaning in your life. Tobacco is not helping you. Meat is not helping you. Carbs are not helping you. All the things you take into yourself because you feel like it is your right to and you don’t need anyone else telling you not to, are not helping you to become the best version of yourself that you can be.
Maybe you don’t want to. Maybe you are satisfied with eating and drinking and consuming all of these things and telling yourself that they are your medicine. That’s fine, but don’t keep complaining that the world is not living up to your expectations. I guarantee that if you take responsibility for how you are taking care of yourself (or not), you will find that the things that go on in the world don’t bother you as much as they currently do. You are giving responsibility to the outside when if you really want to feel better, you will hold yourself accountable for what YOU are doing to you.
Ask me how I know this is true.
Maybe you need to suffer more. Maybe life isn’t painful enough for you. Maybe you just aren’t aware of how much power you actually have to create your experiences and to change what “happens” to you. The truth is, nothing actually “happens” to you. On some level, you are creating everything that you experience. I don’t want to sound all New Agey. I’m telling you because I’ve seen it. I’ve been sitting here in my shop for a year and a half watching. I’ve been watching how people’s auras enter the room before they do. I’ve been watching how some people’s energy reaches out seeking conflict. Some are sending out judgement, looking for faces to compare themselves to, looking for validation of their beliefs about themselves. Those who are not aware can be sucked into it. Some people’s energy is vampiric, looking to suck people into a karmic vortex of dramatic engagement. Most people aren’t aware of this. They aren’t aware of what kind of energy they project or that the source of their experiences is themselves.
I’m telling you this because some of you reading this may be wanting to overcome your addictions and it is my hope that this post is a sign for you to do it. It’s not going to be easy. No one is saying that it is. I’m saying that it is worth it. First, you will have to go through the withdrawals and that’s probably the most (physically) painful part. Then you will have to create new patterns and habits. Try not to replace one addiction with another. That’s when you can start to focus on the feelings that caused you to become addicted in the first place. Write down all the memories that come up and go into those feelings and recover the part of you that is lost in that place. If you have the strength and determination to do this, you can recover yourself, your sanity, and become whole again.
But know this, addiction to anything doesn’t help you to be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be.