There is no reason to feel guilty for allowing yourself to suffer from abuse. From the highest perspective, yes, you chose to have this experience. But we don’t always have the highest perspective. We don’t think the same when we are having the painful experience as we do when we are in the higher realms, choosing our life path as a spirit getting ready to incarnate. Right now we see things from the perspective of where we are now, and right now we feel pain. We feel hurt. We feel angry, resentful and maybe even rage. And that’s ok.
It’s ok to feel these things. To be pissed about the way we were treated. To wonder how someone could claim to love you and then turn around and treat you like shit. We feel betrayed. We feel stupid for not seeing it sooner. We want to make them pay.
All of these feelings are reasonable. Normal, even. And the best thing we can do is to integrate them. To sit with these feelings and repeat to ourselves “that really happened to me”. Yes, it really happened and it really hurt and now we have a lot of work to do to overcome it.
It’s definitely best to integrate the feelings rather than to try to take any revenge. The people who abused you will get what’s coming to them, but it doesn’t have to be from you. Karma is like a boomerang, it always comes back to you, and sometimes it comes in ways you weren’t expecting.
The best thing you can do is to forgive them. Forgiveness is not for them- it’s for you. If you carry your resentment around it will only make you unhappy. You have suffered long enough at the hands of this person. Don’t let yourself continue to suffer after they’re no longer in your life. This is where you have a choice to take away their power. Sure, you may wish you could teach them a lesson, but they are not likely to learn what you want them to. They will just see you continuing to engage with them and that’s what they want. You have to stop feeding them and move on.
Abusers are not likely to learn anything if it’s coming directly from you. The best thing you can do is set boundaries and stop engaging with them. Setting boundaries sends the message that how they treat you is not ok.
It is easy to let go of things that are painful. The hard work is letting go of the things we are attached to. You have to let go of these people. You have to mourn and grieve and heal. You aren’t mourning the way things were, you’re mourning the way things could have been but weren’t. You’re mourning the way you wanted them to be, the way you tried to make them be, but couldn’t. You have to accept the way things actually were and let go of the hope that anything will ever change. It won’t. Not unless you walk away. Those people won’t change. But you can. You can start over and take with you the valuable wisdom and insight that you have gained by having this experience. And you will never have to repeat this experience again.
You will come out of this stronger and wiser and more powerful than you ever imagined.
YOU are a steady source of strength that comes from god, never forget that