Today I had an emotional breakdown like I’ve not had before. Suddenly I became aware, or maybe it was that I acknowledged, everything that I have manifested into my life.
To manifest, in the spiritual sense, means to externalize what is inside of you. We are always manifesting, we are always demonstrating what is within us at all times. I didn’t know this until two years ago. I didn’t know that my miserable marriage and my lack of abundance and depression was evidence of what was inside of me, a display of my own disposition.
When I figured it out, though, everything began to change. At first it appeared to everyone that I was going crazy. I couldn’t control what was happening and I couldn’t control how others responded to my desire to change.
It was like I had been in a play. I had been performing a role in a drama that I didn’t really like but I didn’t believe I could do differently. Everyone in my life was also playing their role and it became clear that they wanted me to keep playing this character. They were somehow benefiting from me playing this part. I was an insecure, fearful, angry and depressed scapegoat.
When I decided to change the role I was playing, I was surprised at the resistance I was met with. Nobody would accept that I wanted to play a new part. There were no lines for an empowered heroine in the script I had written. The entire drama had to change.
It has been a long journey of healing. Today I feel so much better. I finally feel like I’ve brought what’s real out of myself. This life I see around me is what is really in alignment with my truth. This is the true expression of my soul.
I manifested a beautiful, kind, loving and supportive partner. I manifested a healthy lifestyle, organic food, organic clothing, organic furniture, crystals, art supplies, a stress free existence and a job helping people. This is what was always inside of me. I created it after I believed I deserved it. It became my reality when I stopped being insecure and I started loving myself.
I am so grateful to be where I am right now. I am so grateful to be with the people I have in my life now. I am so grateful to have learned how precious I am, how much value I have. I am so grateful for the amazing life I have lived. It was the pain that taught me how to remember what I’ve always been.
I am ready for the next phase of my life. I am ready to allow the future to happen, no matter what it looks like. I know it will be totally different from the past. I know that whatever happens, it will be better than before. Come what may, I will be happy. I welcome the challenges. I welcome the abundance.
I feel so empowered. So glad to be here. So ready for what comes next.