Adults are the product of their childhood. Period. Sure, there are other factors that make up who we are. We brought part of our personality with us. Experience from past lives influences our ideas and who we think we are. Then there are brand new souls who have little or no past life experience.. everyone is different. No one is the same so there is no one thing to blame or identify as the cause for why we are the way we are.
Life on this earth is a limited, linear, three dimensional experience. We have forgotten everything that has come before this life, and we have forgotten that we are a part of a larger consciousness. Until we remember our infinity, we can only look to our current life history as a reference for who we are, and why we think, act and feel the way we do.
In my journey, part of my remembering my infinite self, is acknowledging the life experience I have had this time around. Processing my feelings and experience has been painful. What is more painful is trying to stop myself from processing the experience. It is more painful to continue to try and forget, suppress, justify, deny or rationalize what I've experienced and how it has affected me.
Two weeks ago as of this writing, Eric and I had a therapy session after a very difficult weekend with his girls. Difficult mostly for me, but also for him because these painful feelings I have affect him, too. We decided to record the session. In this conversation, I recount the basic things that took place during my life as a child. I am so glad I recorded it because after I watched myself talk about my life, I was able to really bring up those feelings and allow them to tell me what they had to say.
Emotional abuse is not illegal. In fact, it is the accepted norm in our current society. Emotions have been demonized and treated as if the feeling and expressing of them is not normal, and something to be criminalized. The medical system, the justice system, and the religious system have all contributed to the feeling of emotions as something to be stopped. If you are sad, they tell you that you are too sensitive. If you are depressed, they medicate you. If you are stressed, they tell you to take a chill pill. If you are angry, they tell you not to be. They do everything in their power to make you not feel, when the only solution is to actually feel your feelings and listen to what they tell you.
We live in a world where people are full of emotion and they are trying to act like robots. The whole world is confused. No one really knows what they feel anymore. If we as a society are going to have a world where children are safe and everyone is unconditionally loving, we are going to have to start facing and feeling our emotions, starting with the most painful ones we deny and bury.
I hope you will benefit from this intimate video. If you think someone else will resonate with what I've experienced and it may help them, I hope you will share. I want to live in a better world than the one I grew up in. This is my effort to be the change I want to see. Starting with acknowledging where I've come from and what I've been through.