Today is my 90 day milestone
I have been here for 90 days
90 days in
90 days out
For the past year I have been in and out
In and out
Living life from a suitcase
Back and forth
Looking for support
It is difficult to find people who will help you
When you’ve escaped from captivity
You wouldn’t think it should be that difficult
And if you live in an illusion, it will come as a shock
No one has the time
No one has the money
No one has the desire to help
Yet they’re so very quick to judge
I was disillusioned
By thinking I had family
By thinking I had friends
I traveled all around the country
Looking for a lending hand
And I was disappointed
I was the little red hen
“Who will help me start my life over?”
Not I said my dad
Not I said my grandmother
Not I said my aunt
Not I said my friends
Is there no one who will help me?
Is there no one who sees what has happened to me?
Is there no one who will support me?
While I get back on my feet?
I will, said a stranger
Who lives across the sea
I’ll help you get your life back
I’ll help you set yourself free
Today I have a permit
I do not have to leave
They can’t complain about the choice I made
They forced me out of the scene
I’m so grateful for the things I’ve learned
Painful as it was
I’m grateful for the love I’ve found
I’m grateful for my home
I have a permit now, to stay
Why would I want to return
To a country or a state of fear
That doesn’t want me there
I am going to settle here
I’m going to make a life
One that I can call my own
Not being someone’s wife
I see the past for what it was
I’m healing all the pain
I thank them all for showing me
What I was never meant to be
I thank them for the opportunity
To remember how much I can survive
I thank them all for helping me
Remember how great it is
To be alive