I’ve been afraid of everything my whole life
It was safer to act angry than afraid around my family
They could relate to my anger
But they couldn’t tolerate my fear
And what it reflected to them
Hence, we got stuck in a pattern
Of me giving them what they expected
All these years I’ve buried the fear
Under layers of anger
My body so tense
Just fighting to survive
I ended up fighting with myself
Fighting my own body to stay alive
I’m in a place now where I can feel the fear
I don’t have to be angry anymore
There’s no one here to be angry at
There’s nothing to fear
So every time that feeling comes up
I ask myself
“What are you afraid of?”
And I hear my inner child answering
It’s, ok, I tell her
You are safe
You are safe
And I can feel her relax
I feel my muscles let go
She can go back to being happy
I’m taking care of her now