Trauma

Trauma is anything less than nurturing that changes your vision of yourself and your place in the world.

Today is all about letting go

Letting go of the guilt

The guilt I felt

In the womb

Guilt for being conceived 

Guilt for being unwanted

Unexpected 

Trauma in the womb

Hearing them all

Speaking negatively of me

Unborn

A belief created before I could think

A vibration I had 

Of unworthiness 

That I carried and emitted

Attracting people 

And experiences

That matched

And reinforced

The belief 

That I deserved the same 

That I didn’t deserve to be loved

So I allowed 

Myself to to be traumatized 

Used 

And abused

Until I was made aware

I deserve love

I can set boundaries

I can love myself

And eventually 

Those who don’t love me

Will disappear 

And those that can

Will appear

And I’m not responsible 

For their behavior 

Or decisions

I am only responsible 

For loving myself

And I do

I love myself more than ever

Secure

And needless

No longer needing you

To fill the lack within me

For now that I’m full of my own love, 

I have enough leftover to give

An abundance

As opposed to depleting myself

Out of resentment and expectation that you will 

fill

Me 

with love 

that I lacked

Written 07/05/2016

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