All my life I’ve been chasing people, places and things. Searching for happiness outside of myself. I have come to a place in my life, now, where I think I finally understand what it is I really want.
I really want to be self sufficient. I want a little basement flat where I can be by myself and be content on doing so. I want to earn a living doing what I do best, understanding others and creating works of art. I want to be completely happy and content on my own. I don’t want to feel like I need anyone’s help, or love or approval in order to be complete. If I decide to be in a relationship, I don’t want it to be based on need.
I want these things for myself, but it is going to take some work. I have an uphill legal battle ahead of me that I really don’t want to engage in, but I have to. I’m doing it on behalf of me. I also have to comply with the authority of this world, preventing me from being where I want to be. I’ve been waiting for the world to change for as long as I can remember. Last year I realized changing the world starts with changing me.
My soon to be ex husband calls me a bulldozer. He says I set my mind on something and I don’t let anything stop me from doing what I set my mind to. I have to say, he is right about that. I know what I want for myself. And no matter how challenging it is going to be for me to get it, I will not stop until I do.