I have two daughters. They were my pride and joy. I brought them through me into this world out of love and a need to be loved. I did my best to raise them according to how I would have wished to be raised by my own absent mother. I was led by my intuition and I did the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time. In retrospect, as looking back always does for me, I realize now that there are some things I wish I had done differently. Hindsight is always 20/20. I can’t beat myself up for the lessons we’ve learned together. I can only take those lessons and carry them into my future. I need to trust that we will grow and evolve according to our experiences. They are grown now. They’re on their own. I did raise them to be independent and to fend for themselves. They might see this as being unsupportive, but I can only hope it equipped them to stand alone and believe in their own power.
I have the privilege and the opportunity to share in raising two more daughters. Two young little girls who have had little if any, exposure to trauma and negativity. They are not mine, nor will they ever be, because they have a mother of their own which will never be replaced. Your mother is your mother, no matter how she raises you or doesn’t. The woman who bears your life in her womb and transports you into this life is the only one you’ll ever be a part of. Even if she doesn’t take part in your upbringing, she will always have a place somewhere in your life and soul’s evolution. I would never expect to take the place of these girls’ mother. I can only hope that the contributions I make to their lives will be a loving and positive one. I have an opportunity to do my best in the cultivation of two small humans, girls who will grow up to be women. And as long as I take the lessons I’ve learned from my experiences and improve on them, we will all be fine in the end.
I am also a daughter. I grew up with my father and two stepmothers whom he chose to bring into our lives and take part in my upbringing. My mother left us when I was four, causing the greatest challenge and painful trauma in my life. I felt overwhelming fear and loss and grief when I watched my mom walk away. She left me with my angry father and took the only love and understanding I would know until I was well into adulthood. I longed for the love of my mom. I longed for her presence. She understood my nature more than anyone else in my life at the time and being misunderstood laid the foundation for all of the suffering I would experience through childhood and young adulthood. It was a challenge that aided me in coming to love and accept myself through much trial and error. The stepmothers my dad chose did not want me, did not understand me and they mistreated me very cruelly. Fear of being like them has inhibited me to fully embracing the role of becoming a stepmother myself. My life was very similar to the fairy tales of evil stepmothers and the last thing I would ever want to do is repeat that trauma and inflict pain on these sweet little girls. Awareness is the key to human evolution and as long as I am present in each moment, I will chose to break the cycle of abuse and treat these girls, all girls, with love and respect and compassion.
All children deserve love, support and empathy in order to grow and blossom into well adjusted adults. The adults involved in their upbringing are directly responsible for providing the support and room for expansion that will help them in their journey. All children need understanding and compassion. They all come here with their own unique personalities that should be honored, not conditioned and molded into what society wants them to be. When we pass our beliefs on to our children, we perpetuate the cycle of fear and slavery. It is time for a change.
Our culture has created an assembly line of drones who are rejected and manipulated if they seemingly fail to conform to what is considered normal. Their creative expressions are often seen as inappropriate and confusing, thus they are medicated and their minds are stifled. Children who speak of past lives or identify as alternative gender identity or take on animalistic behaviors are often not accepted. We do them a great disservice when we don’t listen to what they are trying to express. They grow up to be depressed and frustrated and insecure and misunderstood. The best thing we can do for children is to listen to them and allow them to be what they say they are and accept them completely. This offers us, as parents, to embrace our own uniqueness and evolve along with them.
We are all children of God. We have come here to live on this planet and express our own unique perspective and experiences. There is no one like you. There never has been and there never will be. The greatest thing we can do for ourselves, for humanity, for the collective consciousness, is to open ourselves up for growth, expansion and evolution. We must follow our greatest excitement in every living moment. To attempt to conform to the standards society has set for us only results in misery and loss. We lose the gifts we were born with when we trade them for conformity. In order to break this cycle, we must stop compliance. We must make decisions based on love, not fear. Fear is the belief that things are impossible. Fear results in chaos. Our power lies in knowing who we are, how powerful we are, and that we are all an extension of god in human form. We have the capacity to create, to destroy and to maintain. What we create, what we destroy and what we maintain is entirely up to us. We have more power than we give ourselves credit for. It is time to take that power ways from our leaders and cooperations and put it back into our own loving human hands. I believe in the intrinsic aptitude of human beings. I believe in goodness and love. I believe we all have the ability to create a new reality. For ourselves, and our children.