Girl, what are you thinking? Seriously, hon, take a look in the mirror. Take a look at your life. Be honest with yourself. I speak to you out of love and with honesty that I myself wish I had heard when I was in your position. If I had been given the same words I’m about to give you, I may have done things differently. I suffered so much, I would like to spare you from having the same experience.
Why are you with this guy? Why are you even in a relationship with him let alone preparing to marry him? Why are you doing this? You need to ask yourself these questions and be really truthful when answering. It is not too late and you should consider a few things before you go through with this. What does he do for you? Are you expecting him to fill a void for you? Does he love you more than you love yourself? I guarantee that’s not possible. No one can love you more than you love yourself. If you feel like you’re worthless and not deserving, there is no way for him to fill those gaps for you. He can only love you at the level YOU set the bar. If your bar that you have set for yourself isn’t very high, you are doing yourself and him disservice if you are expecting him to raise it for you. NO ONE on this earth is even capable of loving you enough to compensate for the lack of love you feel for yourself. Sure, maybe this relationship fills you in a shallow way. But that will be insufficient sooner or later. Lasting love is built on mutual respect, dignity and self love. If you don’t have that, you are entering a dysfunctional relationship right off the bat. Whatever you are tolerating right now will soon become intolerable and a source of misery. It is not too late to look at this objectively.
Beautiful girl, when was the last time you looked in the mirror and into your own eyes? I mean, really looked? With no makeup on, no clothes, nothing. Just you. When was the last time? What do you say to yourself when you look in the mirror? Are you harsh? Critical? Judgemental? Or do you avoid looking altogether because you can’t stand the sight of yourself? You need to know you are beautiful. Just the way you are. Not because of how you look, but because of WHO YOU ARE, your soul. Do you cover yourself and hide behind makeup? Do you try to convince yourself that he makes you feel beautiful, but when he’s not around, you feel depressed, worthless, ugly. Do you need his attention to feel like you are worthy? Again, you are doing both of yourselves a disservice if you are not honest.
Honey, are you disappointed that you can’t seem to find the right partner? That all the men or women you date keep giving you the shaft? You feel used and mistreated and abused and you don’t know why? There is something in your past that has made you believe something about yourself and everyone you attract to you is reflecting it back to you. Until you see it and disagree with it, you are going to continue to bring the same kind of people into your life. That’s hell. That’s karma. And the universe will keep allowing you to experience the suffering until you realize you deserve better. You need to go on vacation. Go by yourself and be the best damn date you have ever had. Take yourself to nice places. Eat at fine restaurants. Treat yourself to nice things. You don’t have to spend a lot of money, you just have to say YES. Say yes to yourself. Realize that you deserve to be treated lovingly. And you don’t need anyone else to do it for you. YOU do it. Set that bar high and keep it there. One day, when you least expect it, when you are doing something you love, the right person will walk into your life and they will meet you where you are. The reason why you’re getting shit is because that’s all you think you deserve. Believe you deserve the best, and that’s exactly what you will get.
Darling woman, why are you still with this guy? Why are you afraid to leave him? Are you in denial about how miserable you are because you’re afraid of how it will affect the kids, or your parents, or god? Do you feel sorry him? I promise you, god does not want you to be trapped in a loveless marriage. No matter how long you have been married, you can leave. Everyone will survive. You will not be “losing” all the time you have invested if you’re suffering and miserable and complaining every day. Your kids are watching you. They know more than they let on. By you staying even though you’re miserable, you’re showing them that you’re compromising yourself for someone else. You are not a martyr. You ARE a strong woman. You need to believe that you deserve to feel love and joy and ecstasy every single day. If you’re a slave to the institution of marriage and you’re suppressing your feelings day in and day out, not only are you teaching your children that’s acceptable, but you are doing serious damage to your emotional and even your physical body. Not to mention what it does to your mental health. If you’re not happy, leave. Do whatever it takes, just get out. Start planning, set aside some cash, get some advice from supportive people and get the hell out of there. Or throw his shit in the driveway and change the locks. It’s true that people who support the institution of marriage won’t be supportive of your decision. But again, I promise you, any god who requires you to stay in a marriage when you are miserable, is not a god of love. No loving person would support the kind of self abuse that people who stay in unhappy unions experience just for the sake of an institution, especially god. It is much easier to tie the knot than to untie it. Self love will help you through. If you don’t love yourself enough, no one else can, either.
Girls, why are you looking at other girls with those hateful stares? Why are you envious of other girls? Are you afraid they’re going to take your man? Are you afraid you’re going to lose him to her? Let me tell you something, honey, if he goes after another girl, you should wish them well and thank them both for the experience. Any man who will cheat on you or leave you for someone else doesn’t deserve you. Why would you want to hold on to a partner like that? Why should you feel insecure and feel threatened that something is going to be taken from you? Boys will be boys but that’s not what you want, is it? You want a man. Someone who will love you and respect you and appreciate you for all that you are. How will you find a guy like that if you don’t love and respect and appreciate yourself? Are you seeing how this works, yet? Stop waiting around for the love of your life to show up. You be the love of your life. Then, when you’re content with you and all that you are, anyone who comes along that adds to the greatness that already is you, will be the icing on the cake. And you will be twice as happy. Stop waiting for someone to complete you. Be complete. Let the partner that comes to you also be complete. Then you will share your completeness in divine ecstasy. Isn’t that what you want?
We women are beautiful, powerful, divine. We are most under appreciated by our own selves. It is time for us to awaken and become who we came here to be. Proud, loud and magnificent. We don’t have to act like men to have our voices heard, no, we just need to embody our own feelings, choices, beliefs and divinity. We have amazing things just waiting to be displayed. The time is now, for us all to come into our own.
Rise, Divine goddesses.. let your feminine voice sing
I believe in you