This article is written from my personal perspective at the time of writing. As an empathic person, I have spent my entire life trying to please others. I have tiptoed around everyone’s feelings and made efforts to placate the discomfort they feel – or at least not aggravate the mood. I would say that most of the learned behavior of an empath is to keep them safe around volatile people. Because we can feel others’ feelings, we empaths have a strong desire/need to comfort people. Most of us spend our whole lives looking for ways to solve the problems of those we care about while we suffer from feeling unsupported. No one can really help an empath feel supported except another empath. And because most of us have become so disconnected from our own feelings, often we don’t even know how to recognize and accept support when it is offered to us.
See my post entitled “33 Signs You Might Be a Wanderer/Starseed“.
We love and care for people. We support them and listen when they need to vent. Then, when we ask for support, or we vent, we are often “canceled”, rejected, unfriended, blocked and shunned. This is confusing at first. We wonder what we did to deserve to feel this way. Especially because we care about these people. It’s painful to realize that those we have been investing in don’t feel the same about us. They don’t see us or our gifts as valuable. For us, that is the ultimate rejection, because we give ourselves. We give who we are, and to be turned down or turned away is rejecting our very existence.
It is important that we empaths take a good look at the people we are surrounded by. If we are investing our feelings into people who couldn’t really care less about us, it is time to make some choices. It’s time to think about our own feelings and set some boundaries on what we will and will not tolerate. We are energy healers. We feel because we can heal, we heal because we can feel. Most people don’t even know what they feel, but we do. We can only help them if they accept it. Those people that keep you around because you’re such a good listener, but they never apply the advice you offer are sucking your energy. They are energy vampires, parasites, and they will only drain you. You are not helping them by feeling sorry for them and being afraid to hurt them or of them feeling rejected.
See my post entitled “When Love is a Weakness, Not a Strength“
It’s time to learn how to say no. And it’s better to do it when you feel in control and confident than when you’re at the end of your rope and angry about being used. If you wait until you’re heated, you might go off and say all those things you haven’t said because you didn’t want to hurt them and then they will turn on you and accuse you of being mental or crazy or delusional because what you speak is too painfully true for them to accept. So set the boundaries in your mind and heart first. And when you see/feel your boundaries being violated, love yourself and withdraw. Return your sword back to its sheath, so to speak. Take a breather and consider not spending so much time with that person anymore. Maybe you don’t have to say anything at all. Sometimes the most unconditionally loving thing you can do, is to love people from afar.
See my post entitled “Coping with Betrayal“.
This means we need to spend more time in meditation, listening to what our thoughts and feelings tell us. We need to avoid toxic people, toxic food, toxic air, toxic environments, and protect ourselves from anything that makes us feel uncomfortable. This is important. Remember, our feelings are our navigation system. This world has created many ways to make us sick and we have agreed with them mindlessly. Because we have agreed with these poisonous practices, our whole world is suffering. Don’t feel bad for saying no to harmful things. More of us need to do this, to take a stand for what’s right on behalf of our planet and all who live on it with us. That’s the point. We have come here for a reason and we have been stuck by thinking of everyone else and not ourselves. What we have been doing is backwards. When we love and care for ourselves, we change the world. It’s backward because no one makes any changes by expecting and waiting for someone else to take responsibility. It is our responsibility. If we stand up for the vibration of love and righteousness, we open the door for the whole world to align with us. Understanding this lifts the burden of feeling responsible for everyone else! We feel like the world is on our shoulders because we feel the pain of the world, but we are here to face/feel/deal with our own pain.
In fact, it is the only thing you can do, and it is the very reason why you are here.
March 22, 2017
Good read! 🙂
March 22, 2017
May 30, 2018
I so feel this way on a daily basis thank you it has enlightened me
May 31, 2018
Thank you for reading it, I am glad you found it comforting! It is not easy to be an empath and I hope more of us can come out to support each other! Have a beautiful rest of the week!
July 3, 2020
Sign me up for the community of other empaths, please! This is a journey, some things I don’t understand. I don’t even understand not being understood because I do everything for everybody.
July 3, 2020
We wholeheartedly agree with your sentiments. Thank you for your comment & for being the beautiful, sensitive soul that you are <3