No More Stepmonsters

Last week Z said to me

I have two mamas

I couldn’t believe she said that and I said so

Then I did a lot of thinking through the week

I thought about Karen and Susan and how they treated me

I thought about how it depends on the father how a woman who isn’t the mother of his children should treat them

The way a woman treats his children depends on what the father will allow

A woman will follow the father’s example

No woman would be able to mistreat his children if the father loves them and protects them

No loving, attentive father would allow it

This week I told Z I was grateful and glad to be a part of her life

She said to me

You are the step mother

I said, yes I am

I am very happy to be 

And you know what else? 

Sometimes I’ll be your big sister. Sometimes I’ll be your aunt and I’ll always be your friend.

It is a great honor and privilege to have this role

And just like that, 

I felt the fear melt away

And forgiveness for the women who didn’t know how to be a step mother washed over me

I felt compassion and love

And all the trauma melted away

She smiled at me

And we went into the house to play

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