Last week Z said to me
I have two mamas
I couldn’t believe she said that and I said so
Then I did a lot of thinking through the week
I thought about K and S and how they treated me
I thought about how it depends on the father how a woman who isn’t the mother of his children should treat them
The way a woman treats his children depends on what the father will allow
A woman will follow the father’s example
No woman would be able to mistreat his children if the father loves them and protects them
No loving, attentive father would allow it
This week I told Z I was grateful and glad to be a part of her life
She said to me
You are the step mother
I said, yes I am
I am very happy to be
And you know what else?
Sometimes I’ll be your big sister. Sometimes I’ll be your aunt and I’ll always be your friend.
It is a great honor and privilege to have this role
And just like that,
I felt the fear melt away
And forgiveness for the women who didn’t know how to be a step mother washed over me
I felt compassion and love
And all the trauma melted away
She smiled at me
And we went into the house to play