Voices

He said

You just wake up and start attacking people and ruining their day

Actually, I wake up defending myself from the negative thoughts that attack me from the past

Voices programmed into my fascia and muscles

Causing my body to contort and contract in pain

Voices that say

I’m worthless

I’m dangerous

I should be locked up and put away

I’m unwanted and burdensome

I wish you would just go away

So yes I do wake up fighting

Fighting for my life

Against those who would have me put to death and miserable

The voices of my father

And my stepmothers

And my ex 

And my children

The world would have me believe there is no place for me here

I’m not welcome

I don’t belong

When I listen to those voices, I am sent to a dark place

If I believe them and agree with them I will be paralyzed and die

So, yes, I do wake up fighting 

Every single morning

I’m fighting to get my life back 

From the people who made me believe I should give it up

I disagree with everything you think about me

I’m embracing who I am

Fighting what you’ve taught me to think I am

I disagree 

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