The Contract is Complete

So many people are pissed at me
I’ve cleared out so much energy
But still
I’m wondering why
Is it because God hates a divorce
(And their support of that belief keeps them in an unhappy marriage, too? The belief that they’re stuck?)
Or because he is such a nice guy and he’s suffering so much and seeking pity for his predicament
Well, I won’t dispute that, but there are two sides to every story and if it makes you too mad to listen to mine,
a. You must not really be my friend
b. Think about what he is saying, really
c. He is a salesman. A master when he wants to be. It is his career.

Why is it anyone’s business anyway? Why have I been so vocal about it on FB? Why? Because he wouldn’t listen to me when I told him privately. He talked me out of breaking the contract. Over and over again. For years.
Convincing me that I couldn’t live without him. That I was too.. What?
Sick? Incapable? Ignorant?
Sadly, I believed him
So did my spine
The lack of support
On top of my childhood trauma
It became too much
No one believed in me
So I had to
I had to believe in myself to pull myself up out of this crippling pain
Physical pain that
You said you wish you could fix
But you were really
Feeding it
Feeding off of me
My energy and love
I kept giving
And giving
Even when I was sleeping
You would take from me
(That’s not consent
By the way
Just because we are married)
So I was forced to run
I was forced to put it in your face
And everyone else’s
So you couldn’t trap me again
I took a chance at appearing crazy
I’m a pro at crazy
But this time I got your attention
You can’t back me in a corner
No matter how much you threaten me
Because I’m over it
So over it
I am anything but
I am the healthiest I’ve ever been
(Solo)
I’m capable of incredible things
(He watched me move a ball with my mind.. I think he’s just afraid of me)
And far
Far
Far
From ignorant. No comment required.
And those people who are angry
Well they know how to get ahold of me
When they want advice
(About how to leave
A miserable situation
That appears impossible–
It’s not)
Because the most supportive people
Are those who have the experience
Of the last straw
Of enough
Is enough
Is enough
Thank you Angels
Thank you friends
For the support
I can see clearly now

(8/8/16)

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